


curing space blues

by tusslee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), M/M, my boy just has a lot of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 13:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10104209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tusslee/pseuds/tusslee
Summary: The weightlessness of zero gravity doesn’t apply to feelings, Lance learns.





	

**Author's Note:**

> klance has taken over my life ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> also only rated teen& up for the overabundant use of the fuck word

The weightlessness of zero gravity doesn’t apply to feelings, Lance learns. Nope, those still sit heavy like a rock in his stomach, or on his shoulders, or in his throat. His body, which has always been too much, becomes nothing, but he is still something. The anxiety still claws its way up his throat. The self-loathing still constricts his chest. The ache of knowing, imagining the kinds of things his family has come up with to explain his disappearance still wrenches at his heart. Sure, he might be weightless when there’s no gravity, but that shit doesn’t work on feelings and he hates that.

If Lance presses himself close enough to the glass, he can pretend there’s nothing separating him from the stars. He can imagine, if he closes his eyes, that space isn’t this fucking cold and that the tiny star some tons of miles away is the Sun, his Sun, Earth’s Sun. He can pretend that blue is still his favorite color even though he’s beginning to forget what a cloudless sky looks like. He can pretend the glass beneath his fingertips is the glass of the window in his room back home, half cracked and letting the sweltering heat roll in along with the sound and smell of the ocean. 

But then fucking Keith clears his throat and Lance can’t pretend anymore because Keith is definitely not at his house. 

“Are you done pouting?” Keith asks, but his words hold no real bite. Like the guy barely made an attempt. Lance doesn’t know if he appreciates that or not.

“Fuck off.” He says instead of anything witty because he’s barely making an attempt, which he thinks Keith appreciates. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” Lance expects that to be the end of their conversation, and apparently it is, but Keith doesn’t leave. Lance doesn’t have the heart to repeat himself so he lets it slide when Keith comes to stand beside him, stupid gloved hands pressing against the glass next to Lance’s. Has Keith always been so pale? Probably. Hard to get a tan in fucking space, right? 

The silence Lance usually tries to fill with aimless conversation hangs heavy over them, but he keeps his lips pressed tightly together. Who knows what he’ll say in a state like this, probably nothing good. So, he closes his eyes again and pretends space isn’t this fucking cold, but that’s hard to do when it’s this fucking cold. Pseudo-heat sucks compared to the sun. Space blankets kind of suck too. Space in general is not all it’s cracked up to be, Lance decides. Or, decided a while ago because he’s known this, but he doesn’t have much choice in the matter now. 

And that’s fine! Lance is a hero, something he’d always imagined he’d be. He’s just doing his job, all in a day’s work, you know? Nobody told him how fucking cold space is, though.

“Lance?” Keith’s worried tone forces Lance to stop pretending again. Not that he really was, but he had kind of forgotten about Keith. “Are you crying?”

“What, no..?” Lance’s hand retracts from the glass to wipe at his damp cheeks. _Traitor tears_. “I’m not.” He denies, but his voice cracks and it’s too late anyway. Keith already saw. “I’m just, just..!”

“Just crying.” Keith finishes for him, voice softer than Lance had been expecting. He was waiting for Keith to make fun of him, but he figures even Keith isn’t that much of a douche. “Lance,” Keith calls his name sweetly in a tone Lance is unfamiliar with, “it’s okay to cry.”

“I know that!” Lance snaps, but he doesn’t sound very harsh. Only broken. He knows it’s okay to cry even though kids used to say boys don’t cry. Boys definitely cried. “I know that.” Lance repeats, softer this time. He balls his hands into fists to press against his burning eyes like that may stop the flow of hot tears that continue to spill down his cheeks. He’s ashamed. He’s stronger than this, he knows it.

“What’s going on, Lance?” Keith’s voice is still tender, like Lance isn’t someone he’d willingly punch in the face. It makes Lance want to tell him everything because he wants to tell someone who’ll listen instead of the stars that aren’t his sun. 

“I want to go home.” Lance says and it’s the easiest thing to say. He wants to go home and watch the waves lap at the sand, wants to be wrapped in his mother’s arms again like a child because he’s still a child. He wants to feel the sun beat down on his skin while listening to the constant chatter of his family, wants to just _be with his family_. “It’s so fucking cold out here and there’s nothing for miles. I can’t see anything, Keith. Why am I even here? It’s not like someone else can’t pilot Blue, or fire off a round of laser-bullets at aliens, y’know? I don’t have something worth giving. I’m just a joke, but no one’s laughing.”

Keith watches Lance rub furiously at his eyes. His face is blotchy from crying and his eyes are red and swollen. He’d be horrified if he looked in the mirror. Lance is an idiot, Keith knows this, but he never realized just how much of an idiot he was. Without really thinking too much about it, Keith lets his impulsiveness dictate his actions and squeezes himself between Lance and the massive glass window so he can take his face in his hands. “You’re so fucking dumb.” He says and watches Lance’s eyebrows furrow. 

“I don’t need-,”

“Shut up and listen,” Keith cuts him off, thumb pressing against his lips to silence him, “we need you, Lance. Do you remember what Allura said about the lions? The lions pick their Paladins. Blue picked you, used me to get to you even. She saw something great in you before any of us knew it was there. You’re our sharpshooter and our comic relief when shit gets too real. None of us are expecting you to be strong all the time, none of us can do that. This is bigger than you and me, bigger than we ever dreamed, right? We’re out here for our families and for our home. When we’re finished, we’re going back in one piece to sleep for a week, eat pizza for days, and cherish what we have.” Lance’s eyes flick back and forth between Keith’s when Keith drags his thumb over his bottom lip. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing anymore, “You are a joke, but you’re our joke and we’re always laughing even if you’re not funny.”

Lance inhales shakily as his eyes flutter closed. He shivers, but for once it’s not because of the cold. “You keep saying “we” like you’re speaking for the team. What about you?” He asks softly.

“I’m always looking at you.” Lance’s eyes snap open to find Keith’s, “I think you’re annoying as fuck, but you’re the only thing that keeps me sane and grounds me. I don’t have anyone waiting for me back on Earth, you and the others are my family, Lance.”

“You’re even more emo than usual.” Lance murmurs, smirk tugging the corner of his mouth up.

“I fucking hate you.” Keith deadpans, dropping his hands to his sides. Lance laughs, but it’s half-hearted and weak. He presses his hands to the glass again, this time on either side of Keith’s head as he leans close.

“You don’t.” He argues.

“I don’t,” Keith agrees, “and I never have.”

Lance sighs, warm breath fanning over Keith’s face, “Good, that’ll make this a lot less awkward then.” He grins before leaning in and pressing his lips to Keith’s. It lasts a grand total of five seconds and Keith doesn’t kiss him back. “Or maybe it won’t.” 

“For fucks sake.” Keith grumbles breathlessly then grabs a fistful of Lance’s shirt to drag him back into a better, wetter kiss. This time, Keith responds in kind and wonders what the hell this means for them, but figures it’s a question for a later date and so files it away. Lance kisses him like the fate of the universe depends on it. Keith loves it, thinks maybe he loves Lance, but love is a big fucking word. 

Lance pretends he’s in space with three other stressed out humans, two old-ass aliens, and a half-human half-alien hybrid who’s really fucking cute and kisses like he’s trying to convince him of something, probably that they’re real. 

Space is a lot less cold when you share space, Lance thinks then mentally high-fives himself.


End file.
